Is there Any Hope?

have been involved with a woman for nine months, at the start i did not tret the relationship seriously....by christm last i was deply in love and involved. My partner has an issue with trusting men, she has two kids and there father used to beat her and cheat on her constantly.....i did everything i could to reure her i was not that type of person. Last week out of the blue she demanded to see my phone, and another one which i had used for texting, i saw red and throw the second phone away, a sign of guilt i know, she called me everything under the sun and kicked me and slapped me hard in face, i am awaiting a heart transplant so this did not happen, eventually she calmed down and we meet last sat night and discussed way foreword i agred to everything she asked and said lets leave all past behind.........i had a lap top which i had given to her as i had a work one. she said why i had pwords on it i told her her account can get in to all areas of lap top, on sunday she went through it and found to explicet logs from on line chats last december, when i was in my mad moment, she lost the pot complertly called me everything under the sun and then some, she called m,e a cheater and sick pervert and creep.......it was worng i understand, but in the text it menthined i was seeing her as i wanted to end all online communication with everyone as our feeling had deepened so much............we had our whole live planned and after i had the transplant we were going to try for another child together..........i realise i am guilty of a lot, but nothing in the past 6 months once i knew we were so serious, did not want to loose it..........i have apoligiesed and asked her to reconsider and to just go ahead with the chance we had agreed laast saturday, her last text sunday night was "oh an another thing i only went out with you cos i felt sorry for u and yes you were lousy in bed , and i am changeing my number tomorrow as you are so pathetic as to try and convince me otherwise" i did not responf to that and at 330 this morning i got a call from a private number, when i answered they hung up, twenty min later another call from a private number, i answered guessed it was my patner debbie, and said debbie i am so sorry for all the hurt all i want ios to work this through she started to get upset and hung up without saying a word, i know it was her from the sounds.........i did nothing untill this morning were i sent a mail to her telling her i will do anything she askes to make this work and attached my last few months bills so she could see who i rang and texted.............her response is "i only gave you a chance the other night as i did not realise the sick perverted creep you were.as far as i am concerned you are just another hugh mistake in my life but dont worry i will never regret my actions i will always be relieved i found out sooner rather then later. now leave me alone i never want to see you or speak to you ever again. i told kate she wants her laptop back" kate is a friend of hers at work whom i fixed her laptop for. i know she was deeply in love with me as i was to her, i still am, i never physically cheated with her from day we meet.......yes i kept talking on line for a week or two then i stopped, unfortuanly the logs remained.......is there any hope of winning her back or is she gone for ever? i would do anything it requires for that chance she was giveing but is no longer now..........we had moved into geter to........and her kids loved me as i loved them, we were all very attached, i know i did wrong but i though when she rang last night in small hours there was some hope, todays email proves that mnot to be...what should i do or say ? thank you so much