Advice from others with mental issues?

i think that you are going to have a nervous breakdown if you do not relax and take this slowly. this is not something that is fixed very quickly. that is something that you need to realize very quickly. patience and time are what you need more than anything. as you are trying new medication you will get frustrated because often they cause more side effects. i have found that lexapro is a popular medication, but i never tried it. i take a medication called lamictal. this helps with depression, anxiety, and mood swings. this is my understanding of its purpose for me. i also take abilify which eliminates my voices in my head, suicide thoughts, paranoia, dillusional thinking. just plain abnormal thinking and feeling. i am bipolar-schizoaffective. this means i am bipolar which is severe highs and lows in ones moods. happy one minute and furious or depressed the next. over nothing and yet these occurences seem like everything as they are happening. depression on one end and manic (extreme happiness which takes inhibitions away), on the other. schizoaffective is having many traits of schizophrenia, but not full blown. this is the voices and the delusions and goofy thinking and wanting to kill oneself and so on.....i have severe anxiety attacks and panic attacks to the point of being unable to go out into any public setting. i take a medication called xanax for this. it is similar to the feelings you get from being extremely frightened. this medication takes these horrible feelings of fear away and make it so i can cope with pain, tragedy, and fear in a more normal manner than to become terrified and think crazy things. like kicking a PTS problem into full blown psychosis. i feel that you are in a psychotic state with some mania happening. this is my opinion. throw some anxiety in there and some paranoia and i do not see how you are much different than me except, you did not break out with this illness until later in life. i started with depression and anxiety at 17.over the years, more traumas have brought out more symptoms, but when i stopped taking my medication 2 years ago, i went through every single thing you are describing for several months before trying these new medications to cover all these things at once. i also take adderall for ADD. i have been on this for one year. i will have to say, my life is finally coming back around. i feel pretty darn good, but it took two years steady of the right medications. i played guinea pig with medications for many years, so i am very grateful to finally have this under control. i said earlier that i was on the right medications for 7 years, but this is when we started trying newer drugs to cover specific things. i believe i am diagnosed correctly and if you are continuing to feel worse or not getting better, do not get frustrated and give up because the chances are you will succeed in harming yourself with such turmoil in your head. do not be afraid of trying new medication. you need to be honest with yourself. if certain medication has side effects you cannot tolerate, there is another to try. i do not blame you for not wanting to be on depakote. it can make you feel as if you are retarded. i was on celexa for a while also. then i went on przac for a few years. some medications do not work after taking them for long periods of time. just really keep being consistent with your medical appointments, take your medication correctly, and report any and all concerns to your health care provider. if at any time a medication causes you to begin to feel worse, tell your doctor right away. do not just stop taking medication without medical approval, you will make your recovery that much longer. there is no exact science on the mind, so do your best to continue to voice what is going on inside your head. only you know what these things are. noone can read you. dont stop working toward becoming healthy again because it will haopen if you be patient and stick to what your doctor tells you. remember, you can be treated and you will be ok, but do not expect a speedy recovery. this wont happen. relief should happen fairly soon if a medication is working and you should not feel worse from it. i would recommend reading on mental illness and anything that you can find that relates to you. you will be able to understand and express yourself better to your doctor. educate yourself and you will also understand the new you. you can make you healthy again, but you are a new person compared to who you once were. you have to work on you and your thinking processes now as you did not have to before. things will be different, but they can be a good different. just learn as much as you can about you and you will help your self to move forward with this and not have it ruin your life. i know i wont!